Attachment vs. Detachment

Attachment- 1. the condition of being attached to something or someone 2. Affection or sympathy for someone or something. 3. An affectionate relationship between two people


Detachment- 1. the state of being objective; not influenced by emotions 2. the action or process of separation 3. The lack of interest, concern, sympathy to worldly concerns 4. Freedom from bias of prejudice

I got real familiar with “The Law of Detachment” a couple of years ago. About 4 years ago, I was in a relationship with someone who was not in a relationship with me. I really liked this dude a lot and he showed me and told me he loved me but would not commit. The reason he said he would not commit was because of fear and other bull crap. 40 year old man making excuses. Anyway, I allowed him to play that game for almost two years. After a while, I knew he would never commit to me but I stayed around because I enjoyed what I considered a friendship. This was the first time I had to practice detachment in a relationship. I always get what I want but not this time. Although that relationship ultimately ended, I was happy to grow through such an experience. This allowed me to move different in my relationships and other areas of my life.

Imagine if we were taught, from the beginning, that instead of us supposedly living to find our soul mate and build a family we were taught that we should focus solely on ourselves, making sure that we are completely whole before we even thinking about attaching ourselves to anyone. We are taught so early to attach, that we never really were able to understand the beauty that their is in being detached.

Can you think of a time where you reacted to a situation negatively because you were attached to an outcome that did not happen? Being ATTACHED to outcomes can cause us to miss out on opportunities that flexibility brings us.

How many times have we seen people hurt, damage, and kill themselves or others in the name of love? Being ATTACHED to people can cause us to act in negative ways if the attachment is unhealthy.

How many times have we stayed in a friendship longer than necessary? Because we are ATTACHED to what they were to us in the past or ATTACHED to the idea of what they could be.

Imagine if we were taught detachment in the grieving process. From birth we form all types of relationships starting with our parents. What if from birth we were told that the relationships we have with people are temporary. Don’t get attached. They could be here today and gone tomorrow. I think understanding this concept would make the process of grieving easier. I also believe that more people would get their roses while they are alive and not when they are 6 feet under.

You know how many people have committed suicide, suffer from severe nervous breakdowns and can no longer function in society because they can’t deal with the loss of a person. Being too attached is unhealthy.

If your sense of security or feeling of power depends on someone or something in your life then you are attached to that person or thing and it is a chain that binds you and keep you stuck.


How many of us have been involved in some sort of conflict due to attachment?


Detachment is healthy. Detachment is needed. Detachment is reality. Detachment is life. Nothing or no one should own you!

If you need any support, guidance, advice email me

If you would like to hear my view on any topic. email me


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