Go From “I Want” to “I Have”

One morning, I am listening to one of the motivational videos on You are Creators. For some reason I cannot add the link but please go on YouTube and listen to all the videos that Justin has posted. They are really amazing!

Anyway, after listening to one of the videos on prosperity, I headed to Old Navy to buy me something nice (don’t judge lol). After looking around, I found a few items but then I looked over and there was this dress calling my name. However, after looking at the price, I think the dress was talking to someone else. I began to contemplate with myself if I really wanted to spend that type of money on a dress. I mean the majority of my clothing is brought at the thrift store so spending anything over $20 makes me sweat lol. The scarcity mindset almost took over. I began to think to myself, “I ain’t spending that much on a dress.” But as soon as that thought crept into my mind, my little voice said,

“Antinette, you are rich. You can afford anything you want.”

At that moment I began to tell myself,

“I am rich. I don’t believe in lack. Anything I want I can afford.”

I picked that dress up and put it in my cart. The cashier rang up my items and said,

“Since the dress is labeled long, the dress is 80% off, you just can’t return it.”

Can you believe it? By moving from an “I want” mentality to “I have it now” mentality truly supported me in getting what I wanted and I literally had to do nothing but change my thinking.

Or how about this

My previous employers was very stressful. Before going on maternity leave I told myself I did not want to come back. I began to worry and stress and frantically send out applications to whoever because I did not want to return to work AT ALL. All that stressing and worry wasn’t healthy and my little voice let me know,

“Relax. Don’t worry about it. What’s for you is for you. Its yours.”

And that’s just what I did. I told myself I am already hired at the job that is for me. 2 weeks into my maternity leave, the job I worked before the stressful job had contacted me and let me know they were moving 10 minutes away from where I live and they wanted me back. Look at GOD! All I did was change my thinking.

If it works for me, I know it can work for you too! If you are working towards obtaining anything in your life, speak it first as if it has already happened.

You need more reasons?

Speaking as if it already exists prepares you for the life you plan on living. Lets you know if you really are prepared and if you still have work to do.

EXAMPLE: Say you want to be a professional speaker. You don’t have experience speaking professionally, but have passion and a message. Don’t wait for the perfect time to be a speaker, act as if you are one now. How? Take on speaking roles at church, class, at work which helps allows you to get comfortable with talking with others. Join toastmasters. You could realize all this is boring and move onto something else. The only way to find out is if you surround yourself with experiences that speakers would.

Speaking as if it already exist supports you in making decisions that coincide with what it is that you are after

Example: You currently drive a 96 Mazda. You been looking at the 2018 Buick. To support you in getting the Buick, thank the universe everyday for already blessing you with the Buick. Drive the Mazda like its the Buick. Go to Buick dealerships and pick out the color. Test drive a Buick. Just fill yourself with the feeling of having this car and believe it. Watch the universe work!

Speaking as if it already exist, relieves stress! As with the experience with the stressful job. I let it go, gave it to god and it worked out just like I believed it would!

Speaking as if it exist is FUN! It helps you to not take life so serious.

We all are trying to reach some sort of goal, use this tool to help you get there!

Until Next Time!

If you need any support, guidance, advice email me

If you would like to hear my view on any topic. email me

goddessdiary27@gmail.com

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The Influence of Affirmation

Last week, I talked about the two most powerful words that changed my life forever.  Check it out if you haven’t already.⇒ The Ultimate Game Changer

So I feel this week it would be appropriate for me to share with you “The Influence of Affirmation”

To Affirm (v) – to state as a fact, assert strongly and publicly

Synonym: declare, state, assert, proclaim, pronounce, attest, swear

Affirmations are tools that one can use that allows them to get closer to their goals.

Focusing on affirmations daily has the potential to support you in crossing goals off your list.

Affirmations assist us in speaking and thinking positively. We all engage in self talk whether it be positive or negative. It has been said that people engage more in negative self talk than positive self talk. I can’t speak for anyone else but as someone who monitors their thoughts daily, I must say my thoughts can be pretty negative. However, with the affirmations that I have created for myself and listen to on YouTube, for every negative thought that I have, I have 2 positive affirmations to combat them with.

Affirmations also helps when visualizing your future. Visualization is another tool that’s used when planning your life. It basically means if you can see it in your mind, it can be yours on this earth.  If you have read What’s keeping you focused?, you are familiar with the areas of your life that require that type of focus.

For instance, say you want to lose 15lbs.

You may affirm:

“I choose to make healthy choices everyday.”

“I am active for at least 30 minutes per day.”

Now in your quiet time you visualize yourself buying apples, finishing that mile on the treadmill, saying no to that coworker that offers you that cookie 🙂 Eventually your visualizations will be reality and it all started with affirmations.

Use affirmations to help you in any situation where you would like to see change.

Some Tips for Affirming

  1. Write It All Down! Writing it makes it REAL!
  2. Focus on areas of your life that you know will guarantee success. Check out What’s keeping you focused? if you need some guidance
  3. Think of all the habits you created in each area that no longer serve you. (Smoking, negative thinking, cussing)
  4. Turn the negatives into positive. Next to each negative statement, combat it with a positive statement.
  5. Read your list of affirmations every day and night.
  6. Write and post your affirmations everywhere. I have affirmations in my car, my phone, post its in my house. You would be surprised how these reminders help keep you focused on the bigger picture.

and last but not least

BELIEVE

 

Until Next Time

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE SEEING THIS POST ON THE HOME PAGE. MEANING YOU TYPED IN GODDESSDIARY.COM. YOU HAVE TO PRESS ON THE TITLE TO COMMENT, LIKE, SHARE OR SUBSCRIBE, ALTHOUGH YOU CAN READ THE WHOLE POST ON HOME PAGE. IM WORKING ON THIS.

 

 

 

The Ultimate Game Changer

These two words were a game changer for me. The two words that I am referring to are “I AM”. After learning the power that these two words hold, I often wonder why no one explained to me that “I AM” was a complete life changer. Have you noticed how many of your sentences start with “I Am”? How much attention do you pay to the words that follow “I Am” when you speak? If you haven’t really paid it any mind, I encourage you to be more aware.

I REPEAT knowing the power behind these two words are a definite game changer.

The words that you speak hold a lot of power. Every time you speak, you are literally placing “spells” over yourself and others. You words are also a source of energy. You ever see someone having a bad day and you approach them to see if everything is okay and then by the end of the conversation they say something like “Thank you for taking the time to talk to me. You really brightened my day”. Or how about when someone pissed you off and you have to calm yourself down by talking to yourself. The words that you say to yourself or others are energy and that type of power you want to use for good. Use this energy to take complete control of your life. You can be anything you want to be in life, start by speaking it!
“I Am” ……… gives you the ultimate control of your life

If you say, “I am going to have a good day.” You may start the day by looking for the good in the day. Thanking god for all that he has blessed you with. You may think about all the things that frustrated you the day before and vow to conquer those challenges today. You may be more patient, taking a deep breath before every response.

“I Am”…….Guides your actions

If you say “I am fat”. That means you think you are fat. Which may cause you to eat more because you think you are fat already. Could cause you to go on a diet. May cause you to experience more negative thoughts about yourself all because you said you are fat.

If you say “I am ugly”. That may cause you to walk with your head down, slouched shoulders, no eye contact with others. May cause you to be depressed or have you seek negative attention because any attention is better than no attention (which is not true).

“I AM” …… Sets the intention

If you say,

“I am going to the gym 3 times this week.”

“I am making a positive effort to strengthen my relationships with so so and so”

“I am not doing a damn thing today they get on my nerves” (this was me yesterday lol)

If you intend to complete a task, learn a skill, or even change a relationship, speak about it first. Speaking does not replace ACTION, however speaking is a start.

Whether what you speak is positive or negative the universe has no problem with supporting you with whatever follows “I AM………………..”

What do you say you are?

Attachment vs. Detachment

Attachment- 1. the condition of being attached to something or someone 2. Affection or sympathy for someone or something. 3. An affectionate relationship between two people

VS

Detachment- 1. the state of being objective; not influenced by emotions 2. the action or process of separation 3. The lack of interest, concern, sympathy to worldly concerns 4. Freedom from bias of prejudice

I got real familiar with “The Law of Detachment” a couple of years ago. About 4 years ago, I was in a relationship with someone who was not in a relationship with me. I really liked this dude a lot and he showed me and told me he loved me but would not commit. The reason he said he would not commit was because of fear and other bull crap. 40 year old man making excuses. Anyway, I allowed him to play that game for almost two years. After a while, I knew he would never commit to me but I stayed around because I enjoyed what I considered a friendship. This was the first time I had to practice detachment in a relationship. I always get what I want but not this time. Although that relationship ultimately ended, I was happy to grow through such an experience. This allowed me to move different in my relationships and other areas of my life.

Imagine if we were taught, from the beginning, that instead of us supposedly living to find our soul mate and build a family we were taught that we should focus solely on ourselves, making sure that we are completely whole before we even thinking about attaching ourselves to anyone. We are taught so early to attach, that we never really were able to understand the beauty that their is in being detached.

Can you think of a time where you reacted to a situation negatively because you were attached to an outcome that did not happen? Being ATTACHED to outcomes can cause us to miss out on opportunities that flexibility brings us.

How many times have we seen people hurt, damage, and kill themselves or others in the name of love? Being ATTACHED to people can cause us to act in negative ways if the attachment is unhealthy.

How many times have we stayed in a friendship longer than necessary? Because we are ATTACHED to what they were to us in the past or ATTACHED to the idea of what they could be.

Imagine if we were taught detachment in the grieving process. From birth we form all types of relationships starting with our parents. What if from birth we were told that the relationships we have with people are temporary. Don’t get attached. They could be here today and gone tomorrow. I think understanding this concept would make the process of grieving easier. I also believe that more people would get their roses while they are alive and not when they are 6 feet under.

You know how many people have committed suicide, suffer from severe nervous breakdowns and can no longer function in society because they can’t deal with the loss of a person. Being too attached is unhealthy.

If your sense of security or feeling of power depends on someone or something in your life then you are attached to that person or thing and it is a chain that binds you and keep you stuck.

DETACH!

How many of us have been involved in some sort of conflict due to attachment?

DETACH!

Detachment is healthy. Detachment is needed. Detachment is reality. Detachment is life. Nothing or no one should own you!

If you need any support, guidance, advice email me

If you would like to hear my view on any topic. email me

goddessdiary27@gmail.com

“When you yell at me, I feel like you hate me”

“Mom, when you yell at me I feel like you hate me.”

“Son, you know I love you, I show you and tell you every  day”

“When you yell, I forget about all of that”

This conversation that I had with my son changed my life forever. My son shared this with me as he was going to visit his father for the weekend. His as a matter of fact statement, crushed my whole world for a second and he had no idea. Then he left me for 56 hours to meditate on the fact that he feels like I hate him when I yell at him.

While meditating, I realized I do yell. I yell when

  • I repeat myself too many times
  • I’m frustrated with his level of performance in certain areas

At that moment I asked myself, “How can I change this habit that I created?” And my little voice responded, “Just Wait”.

Yall, those 2 words have been the answers to my prayers “Just Wait”.

When Zyaire returned, I began my own personal experiment. Every time Zyaire would do something that would once cause me to respond with a yell, I WAITED. In the morning, with him taking forever, I didn’t yell. I WAITED. Some days I got him up a little earlier to prevent me from having to want to yell. Shoes not tied, I WAITED, it’s okay when he 17 wearing sneakers with straps he knows why. It was reading time, and I tried to get him to engage about the book. Well my son looks away as if he was not interested. The old mommy would have told him off, but nope I WAITED and looked at him, he looked at me and I told him to continue reading. 10 minutes later he was ready to talk about what I proposed 10 minutes ago and I was ready to listen. Homework time, I WAIT. Although I still get frustrated, I am not attaching myself to it any more. I no longer allow that frustration to cause me to yell and scream. I notice it, tell it “I feel you emotion but you won’t move me”, and allow myself to be present.

What I have learned by “Just Waiting” is that

  1. The situation is never that serious.
  2. If you feel a yell or scream coming on, its okay to stop, count to 10 or walk away. The conversation can always be revisited later.
  3. Patience is a virtue.

Most importantly, just waiting helped me to realize, on a deeper level, that I am the adult and he is the child. And if I don’t allow people on the outside to get me that upset, I have to have the same boundary and offer that same respect to my son. I have to show him what respect looks like so that he can expect respect. I have to show him how to respond respectfully even when frustrated.

I am so thankful that my son was able to teach me such a valuable lesson.

Are there any lessons that you children have taught you? I want to know. Email me

Until next time………..

If you need any support, guidance, advice Email me

Email me at goddessdiary27@gmail.com

Knock Down Walls

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend. We were both discussing what we can do to better our relationships (romantic and platonic). We discovered that we are not putting 100% effort into certain parts of our relationships, for whatever reason, and we wanted to fix it!

So anyway, my wheels got to turning. Given the fact that I have a background in Social Work and also spend my time researching anything human behavior related I started to counsel myself. I began to think about the origin of the problem, the intensity, the ways in which my birth order plays a part in my behavior. I mean I really tried to understand what the heck is the problem here. After all this introspection, I discovered a lot about myself.

I will be the first to admit that I AM SELFISH! I love being selfish. I love making sure that I am going to be okay mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially before making any moves. I also encourage others to be just as selfish. Why? Because if you have a good and pure heart, after being completely selfish with yourself, your selfishness and love for yourself will pour into other areas of your life and others will be blessed by your selfishness. So yes I am super selfish. It was already aligned for me to be that way. Being the first born and only child, I was destined to be a self centered, independent, analytical, and a goal driven person. 🙂

I have found that because I come from a pretty spoiled background. Basically always getting want I wanted and needed. I expected that same standard of care in my relationships (platonic and romantic).

Side Note: Being a Social Worker, its a habit of mine to find strengths in ALL situations. The worst situations, I will try to find a positive because that is how I have been trained. However, I am not oblivious to the fact that all situations have weaknesses attached to them.

I have found for me that being selfish has caused me to develop ways of living that are not healthy. Due to the fact that I am use to having things go my way for the most part (from birth), at times when I was faced with disappointment, hurt, anger, and pain, or any negative situation, I would build a wall so I would not have to feel that pain again. I taught myself early that I did not like the way those negative emotions made me feel, so I developed unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with the pain. 28 years worth of walls have been built.

Now that I am older, I am breaking walls and chains and I am not allowing what I been through to stop me from being who I am meant to be, getting what I deserve, and allowing past pain to alter my attitude any longer. I am knocking those walls down, one wall at a time. I am no longer allowing those walls to box me in.

What walls are blocking you in? Keeping you trapped? Not allowing you to grow? What walls are you going to knock down so that you can be who you are meant to be? In your relationship? Professionally? Financially? What walls will you commit to knocking down today?

Suggestions For Knocking Down Walls

  1. Reflect on your life. Identify themes in your life that contribute to the walls that have been built.
  2. Evaluate your relationship. Look at all your close and strained relationships. Write down the strengths and weakness of those relationships.
  3. Be honest with yourself. What part did you play in the strained relationship?
  4. Be honest with others. If you know you played a part in the rocky relationship APOLOGIZE. Apologize for the part that you played being okay with the fact that the other party will not offer you an apology in return. That’s okay. Apologizing is for you not them.
  5. Talk to someone about your issues. A professional if you feel its needed.
  6. Forgive yourself. Change is constant and will not happen over night.

Until next time……

 

*If their are any topics you would like discussed email me @goddessdiary27@gmail.com

*If you have any issues/challenges you need support with email me  @goddessdiary27@gmail.com. I am here for you!

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April is Financial Literacy Month

In honor of it being “Financial Literacy Month”, I thought it would be appropriate to break my silence by discussing finances.

Disclaimer: I try my best not to discuss subjects that I have not experienced personally, seen with my eyes, or read and interpreted with my mind.

Now that that’s out the way, I will share with you what I found to be important in my 29 years of living as it pertains to finances

  1. Budget A tool used to track your income and expenses. I live by my budget. I want everyone who is reading this to go out and buy a composition book right now and start your budget today! Let me help you get started. Open your composition book and write down all of your monthly bills. Next to your bills write the due date, balance, and interest rate. On the following pages right down your pay dates for the next 3 months. Under each pay date, list which bill is scheduled to be paid with that check. This will help you to better get a handle on your finances. For Example: I get paid April 15 and April 30 this month. Under April 15, I would put cell phone and the amount being as though my cell phone is due on the 16th. Under April 30, I would put mortgage because as we know rent/mortgage is due on the first.
  2. Pay Yourself First  The Golden Rule in my family has always been to save 10% of your income. Now 10% may seem a little steep for some. Some weeks 10% is too much for myself. So start small. 1%, 3%, 5%, is enough to get you started. The point is to get in the habit of saving for a rainy day. Get in the habit of not spending everything that you earn. Doing this also helps you to create the habit of preparing for the future.
  3. Pay Off Your Debt Credit Cards, Car Loans, School Loans, Cell Phones! Pay it off! Whatever it is PAY IT OFF. If you want to start with the debt that has the highest interest rate or start with the lower balance, Look over your situation and figure out what works best for you!
  4. Take Advantage of DCA Accounts-  What’s that you say? Well its an account that employers offer that helps to offset childcare expenses. The money is taken out of your account before taxes. Its a beautiful thing. Inquire with your employer for more information
  5. You Deserve A Cushion  Cushion – “What if I lost my job today money?” If you are living from pay check to pay check. Its time to create better habits that ensure that your cushion is FAT! What if you lost your job today, how comfortable would you be? Review your budget real quick. Look at 1 full month of bills and total them. How comfortable would you be if you lost your job tomorrow? Those in the financial realm would say that people should have 3-6 months of savings in their account in case of an emergency. I have read in some articles that 12 months worth of savings is sufficient. It really all depends on how comfortable you would like to be if an emergency were to arise.
  6. Think 1,3,5 Years Increments Think about where you would like to financially within the next 5 years. What salary would you like to make? How much money would you like to have saved? What major purchases do you plan on buying in the future? See kids in your future? What you think about you bring about. Just think first!

Here are some terms that I am now familiarizing myself as well. If your interested in taking your finances to the next level research (Google, YouTube, Books) the following the following terms/names

  • IRA (Roth/Traditional)
  • Compound Interest
  • Personal Finances for Dummies (Book)
  • Warren Buffet Interviews (Youtube)
  • The Budgetnista (YouTube)

If there are any tips regarding finances that you have learned please share with us. Any books you would like to recommend, please share!

Until next time…..